The Leap

I had this dream a few weeks ago, whose story and lessons have been forever etched into my mind, spurring me to great action.

In the dream, I stole some shoes for me & my sister. When I got them home, I realized they didn’t quite fit – they weren’t the right style for me. So I took them back to the shoe store and tried to exchange them and got caught by the clerks. They knew I hadn’t paid for the shoes. When they confronted me, I dropped the shoes and made for the door. Once outside, I ran for my car and jumped in, speeding away from the embarrassment and certain consequences. As I drove away, this beautiful Indian girl appeared in my passenger seat. We raced through town, dodging bullets from dozens of enormous military men that popped up, like villains in a video game, on the sides of the road. Finally, we arrived at this house. I knew our (especially her) safety depended on us reaching the third floor.

The strange thing is, I’ve been in this house before. Not in real life – it doesn’t resemble anything I’ve ever seen. But I know I’ve been in this exact house before in my dreams. We make our way through the bustling familiarity of the first level, weaving our way through tables of people we know. We race through secret passageways and up winding staircases, searching for a way to out-run our pursuers, eventually making our way up to the third floor. We find a bedroom and the Indian girl flings open the closet, producing a beautiful, red ceremonial wedding dress. She puts on the dress and says she’s ready. She runs and jumps out of the window, landing safely on her feet at the side of her prince. In a few seconds, they are married, and all worry and stress regarding her safety is gone. Everyone stops chasing us and her freedom has been secured.

Here is my interpretation. This is a metaphor for the search of my authentic, creative self and the path required for me to make a living as an artist. The stealing of shoes? That’s me trying on other people’s artistic techniques and methods (which is necessary in the beginning)… but they never feel quite “right”. As I run from the store, I start to test out my own artistic methods and theories (the Indian girl representing my creativity). When forging this new path, fledgling creativity must be protected from all of the (sometimes) well-meaning bullets people will inevitably shoot my way. And not just the bullets from external sources, sometimes from my own doubts and insecurities about the value of what I bring.

The search through the house represents searching my soul for the authentic pieces of my creativity I want to share. The leap. Oh, the leap from the window. That leap means a lot. Leaping out of the house of my comfort zone. The leap represents taking these carefully protected ideas and dreams that I’ve nourished and flinging them out into the world for others to either love or hate. In order for me to get from where I am to where I want to be, it will take a big leap, which scares the shit out of me. The prince signifies safety, money, and security… the (if I’m being realistic) important and necessary things that I want art to help me achieve so that I can do this for a living.

The main thing I took away from this dream is that in order for me to get from where I am now, to where I want to be, the leap is my next move.

And it’s a coming.

As I wrote my morning pages this morning, an idea started to form. Of what my next creative offering will be. And it feels right. It may not make me a lot of money right away, it may not last forever… who knows? But I do know it is the next right move (leap) to get me on my way to my prince.

Stay tuned….