In the Interest of Keeping it Real

I read a blog post from one of my favorite bloggers, The Bloggess, yesterday where she posed the question – is everyone really as perfect as their Facebook and Instagram feeds would indicate?  Is she the lone failure in a sea of people who have their shit together?  I thought it might be fun to give you guys a “see I really don’t have my shit together” post.

Granted, to give myself credit, I do accomplish and have accomplished a lot in my life that I’m proud of.  I try *very* hard to see the positive in situations, and for me – posting on Instagram and Facebook helps me find the beauty and the hilarious in the every day.  I intentionally seek out beauty in my life.  In any given Instagram pic, the rest of the view behind me may be utter chaos with a sink full of dishes, a cluttered counter, and a screaming kid… but what I’m taking a picture of?  It’s gonna be pretty.  I think so often we compare our insides to other people’s outsides without taking into account that their insides probably look just as scattered as ours.

Want to hear about some of my scattered bits?  About a year ago, I decided Johnny needed a big boy room.  I peeled his baby-ish wall decal off (which left enormous chipped paint sections), started a board on Pinterest, pinned a bazillion beautiful inspiration pictures, got some paint samples from Home Depot, and painted swatches on all of his walls to see how the light hit different colors.  Want to see what his room looked like a year later?

Yep, haven’t done a damn thing.  I continually let my idea of figuring out the “perfect room” stall me in moving forward.  I let perfection be the enemy of good.  If I couldn’t spend a ton of money to make his room Pinterest perfect, then why start?  Then, I had a realization… when I was growing up, my mom and dad didn’t design my room on Pinterest.  I didn’t have perfectly matched, magazine-worthy décor.  Was my room cool as shit?  You betcha.  Do I still think back fondly on all of the memories made in that special room?  Absolutely.  So I let go of my need for perfect.  I accepted that I am not a perfect Pinterest mommy.  And that’s really how I prefer it to be.

Last week I pointed to all of the swatches on the wall, and let Johnny help me pick the color.  I bought the paint and we are in progress, baby!  We just got him a new big boy bed (a twin, an upgrade from his toddler bed) that’s ready to be put up once the paint dries.  In a year, he may or may not have anything up on the walls.  He may or may not have any décor in his room.  His sheets may not match his bed spread.  But you know what?  I’m confident that when he is an adult and looks back on his time spent in this room, he will remember the love in our house and the memories we made. And really, that’s the most important thing.

A Mixed Media Canvas: Peacock

Flashing his brilliant colors

so proud, chin lifted

announcing to the world,

this is me

look at my true colors

unabashedly loud

**This guy looked much different last Work In Progress Wednesday. Here is where I had left him. Quite the difference, huh?

Do your paintings change colors many times? Or are do you nail color on your first attempt? Mine always seem to go through a few colors until I land on what feels right.

Linking up to Paint Party Friday.

An Art Monster

I’ve created a monster.  A miniature art monster.  I mentioned that my child loves to be in my studio. Somehow during his waking hours he has turned into the artist, and I, his assistant.  I’m not quite sure how this happened.  But one day last week he asked to paint.  As I looked around for paper, I spied a small, blank canvas (11×14) and figured it might be fun for him to try and paint on a substrate other than printer paper.  So I offered it to him.

His eyes lit up and he shouted, “yes!”.  He ran over and grabbed it with his chubby, smudged fingers, squealing with glee.  He took the canvas over to my easel and popped it up onto the ledge, standing on his tippy toes to straighten it.  He drug a chair over in front of the easel, and vaulted his little body up, his diapered booty shooting high up into the air as he clamored up into the chair.  He promptly unscrewed the canvas holder, dropped it down to fit snugly against the canvas, and screwed it down.  Like he’d done it a million times.  Then he held out his hand and asked for ink.  Who am I to deny an artist their whim to use a medium?

I did keep the color palette somewhat limited so as to prevent the whole thing being mud.  I would set out 4 colors from the same family, and from there – he was on his own. Deciding which color to use, the placement, whether to use ink or spray it with water.  We would let a layer dry, and then come back to it.

I would rotate the canvas every session, to add some variety.  He used the ink dropper and made about 400 fire poles (his favorite thing to paint), some smiley faces, and a few trees.

He would make airplane sounds as the ink came in for a crash landing on the canvas. Then, he would take the spray bottle and squirt water until nearly all of the color ran off off the canvas in a thick stream.  Slowly building up his layers, completely and utterly absorbed in the process.

Never finding himself attached to a particular layer… always ready to add more.

My favorite part?  Our hands match now.  Like mama, like son.

Here is where the canvas is today.

I’m completely in love with it…it’s such a fun expression of his creative passion.  He won’t let me hang it up on the wall, because he’s not done yet.  There are always more layers to be added, more of the process to experience.

Work in Progress Wednesday: Peacock

So I hit a bit of a breakdown.  In a good way.  I mentioned the other day there were some paintings that just didn’t jive for me….  They lacked the heart and emotion (in the process) that I want to convey in my paintings.  They represent, to me, creating too much with my left brain.  Don’t get me wrong… there are many of my early paintings that I still love.  The ones where I forgot the “right way” to do things, and just painted.  Those, I’m keeping!  But the ones that were a bit of a sore spot…. I pulled them all down.  And grabbed my gesso.  Let me tell you… this is empowering.  Go!  Grab those paintings that don’t jive and cover. that. shit. up.

See that ^^^ that little guy is under my easel when he’s not trying to kick me off of it and use it himself!

I started this canvas by covering it with gesso, then adding lots of layers of red, orange, and yellow ink.  After that dried, I slapped some paint on there… just whatever colors I had leftover on my palette that evening. 

The next day, I was painting along and suddenly a peacock appeared!  I went with it, and trusted the process.

I am starting to understand and play around with value (i.e. adding black and white to your colors to add variety).  This is just a whole new world.

And here is where I ended tonight.  I. am. in. love.  With this painting.  With this process.  The process of painting that allows you to grow, improve, slap some gesso on it, and grow some more.  The fact that I am constantly challenged to build skill and knowledge of how to apply simple colors to a stretched bit of cloth and make something that conveys feeling and emotion.  I am grateful for it all.

Linking up to Paint Party Friday.

Awaken

We’ve all been there. That place where you aren’t being true to your essence.  There is a deep down knowledge, the unchanging part of yourself knows you aren’t being true to your Self.  Deep within, there is a swirling of an undercurrent. Every now and then, you hear whispers that remind you of all that you are capable of becoming. It’s that dream of potential, that keeps you moving one foot in front of the other.

One day, you decide you can’t live denying your truth any longer. And something breaks free. It starts small – a whisper of a freedom that your soul remembers. A swelling in your heart that lets you believe another way of life is possible, that you can break free of the wall you have built around yourself.  And it ruminates. In the back of your mind.

Once the freedom has been tasted, you yearn for more meaning in your existence. You access a well deep within, and feel the power for change building within your chest. One day, drawing your power from the moon and the trees, you start – breaking your feet free from the cement that was binding your body to the earth. You take that first scary, enormous step. One small step, should be so insignificant, but can feel vast when it’s in a new direction.

You rely on the brain to push your body through the motions – one foot in front of the other. When your heart screams from the pain of it all – to move after spending so long of your life still like a statue – you access that deep well again. Remembering your deep song, the potential of a happy, fulfilled existence that awaits you. You dream of the beautiful meadow that lies on the other side of the mountain you have to climb. The wildflowers of that meadow serve to fuel your push for change.

Slowly, the change takes hold, and you begin again to believe in your power. Your body and mind start to awaken to new possibilities. The potential. The vast reserve of love that has broken free.  You realize you are limitless potential.  You awaken.

 

This is a 24×18 mixed media on canvas.

Supplies used: acrylic paint, book pages, acrylic glazing liquid, Caran D’ache Neocolor II, white gel pen, Faber Castell PITT pen, Sharpie paint pen

I’m linking up over at Paint Party Friday.

A Mixed Media Canvas: Dream

“I feel God in the slightest wind * At the rate I manifest every dream deepens * and I know I never want to stay the same.”  ~ Nahko and Medicine for the People (Nyepi)

I just finished this canvas for my friend, Ami.  We are both completely obsessed with the band Nahko and Medicine for the People.  This piece was heavily inspired by the song Nyepi.  Do yourself a favor and watch – I’ll wait:

Sigh… Amazing, right?

The canvas is a 16x20x2 made from a recycled canvas.  I had a canvas with a bunch of zentangle in Sharpie paint marker and spray ink that I didn’t really want to use anymore.  So I sprayed a bunch of water on top, let it soak into the ink, and mopped it up with paper towels.  After several passes, it was clean enough to layer some gesso.

After that I just added some grungy paint layers, stamping with some hand-carved stamps (discussed here and here).  Next came some lyrics she wanted in a white out pen and then some designs in Neocolor II water soluble wax pastels to finish it off.

All that’s left is to seal it and ship it off!

Are there any bands you are completely obsessed with right now?  Any kindred spirit friends that you create paintings for? I’m at this point where I have so many painting ideas for my close friends… I have a long list!

A Mixed Media Canvas: Mountains

“A painting is never finished. It simply stops in interesting places.” ~ Paul Gardener

I *finally* finished the three big canvases for over my couch!

These have been such a long work in progress… and my first attempt at something resembling realism (but not really).  Pretty much as soon as I was done, I started thinking about what I could add to make them better.  I’ve decided I am going to stop fiddling with them for now, and maybe I’ll come back to them at some point.

There were so many points in this painting that I lost my confidence, and stopped working on it.  Weeks would pass and I would finally just start painting.  And trust that the next brush stroke would land where it was supposed to go, and look how it was supposed to look.  I’ve been trusting more and more while painting, and when I don’t think, I tend to paint my best.

I like to think of it as painting from my soul vs. my brain.

Done for now.

What is your best technique for getting your creative juices flowing again when you’ve hit a dry spell?

The Spirit of the Forest

I sit in silence

with the stars above my head

and the dirt beneath my feet.

If you close your eyes

If you listen very closely

You will feel something more.

A sacred presence

An energy pulsating within

Connecting you to the trees, the moon.

This primal connectedness,

This prayer with Mother Earth

Opens me to feel the current

of the ancient within.

Linking up at Julie’s Art Journal Every Day:

A Canvas in Progress

If I become a famous painter… Hundreds of years in the future when they are using forensics techniques to look at this painting, they will say, “Yep, this is the one she learned on”. 

Finished more shading on the mountains and changed the colors of almost everything.  This has been a very “learn as you go” painting.

I still need to go back and shade the bottom two sections of mountain.  And then maybe add in something else like a bird or two bigger trees.

Just thought I would share with you all an update!  I’ve set a new goal of working on a canvas for at least 10 minutes every day.  That way, I will hopefully finish this before the year is over!

A Canvas in Progress

I’ve been working on three new big (24×30) canvases for our living room.  I’ve been building up the background for a few weeks… adding something here and there, waiting for inspiration to strike for the rest of the layers.  After re-reading part of The Prophet by Khalil Gibran, I had my inspiration.  Specifically, the sections on Love and Marriage.

“When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep.  And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you…  Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them clinging to the earth.”

“Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

These sections made me think: mountains, trees, and a bird.  Which is perfect – because we are outdoor people!

When I started looking around at pictures of mountain scenes, I realized it was silly to paint some random mountain when I live at the base of Pikes Peak. Duh.  So yesterday, I headed to an overlook that has a good view of the mountains to sketch out a plan for my painting.  I really wanted to sketch outside, but it was too windy, so I had to settle for sketching from my truck.

Let’s just say I’m a novice sketcher. I created a sort of key to help me remember the subtle differences in colors.

When I got home, I pretty much ignored all other responsibilities and just painted.  All night.   (And yes, I chopped off all of my hair!)

Here is where I’m at today.  Still have lots of shading to do on the mountain, and still not happy with the color of the sun.  I accidentally layered a transparent magenta over opaque orange which makes it look red.  Argh!  Gotta figure out how to make it look more pinky-magenta.  So if any of your art school folks wanna chime in, feel free!

I am coming to a much more comfortable place with painting.  I’ve realized there are phases to each painting, and some of the phases may be ugggggly.  But it’s gotta get ugly before it turns beautiful.  I feel like this one is starting to turn the corner!